Rebellion In The Heart and Home

“Pick up the clothes on the floor in your room.”

“Close the door; were you born in a barn?”

“Have you done all your home work?”

“No TV for you for a month!”

“Have you finished your Bible study homework?”

“Who were you with last night and where did you go?”

These, and many other questions and statements are designed to give direction and relay information from parent to child. But they can also be the source of resentment and rebellion in the heart of a young person who is the target of such questions and instruction.

The teen-age years can be very difficult. As a young person begins to develop his/her personality, there is a desire to make their own decisions, to do what they want to do, and to be less restricted by parents. All of this is normal to some degree, but without love and respect for one another, explosive situations can develop. Many homes have open warfare between children and parents and that is not normal. Some homes do not have clear rules or good communication. Some homes have no stated rules. Some homes do not have good examples for young people to follow. Eli, the prophet and last judge of Israel, was condemned by God because he did not restrain his sons (1 Sam. 3:13). How are things in your home? Can the situation be improved? Is there good communication between you and your parents? Do you feel rebellious toward your parents? A great deal of modern music and entertainment venues encourage resentment and rebellion toward all kinds of authority, both in the home and in society.

It is helpful to recognize the ground-rules for a happy home. There are definite roles that should be recognized and each must make a contribution toward creating a home that is serving its God-given purpose in life. Let’s consider the roles of parents and children in order to see if your home can be a place of peace and nourishment.

Parents have a responsibility to be leaders in the home, giving direction and guidance to the next generation. Fathers and mothers need to understand what God expects of them and be brave and wise enough to do what they should. The Bible provides much wisdom in setting the standard for parents. The husband is to be the head of the wife and home and the wife and children are to submit to his leadership (Eph. 5:22-6:4). This description is not one of dictatorship, but of mutual respect with the father leading the way. Their main goal is to see that their children, the next generation, grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive citizens, ready to take their role in society, the home and the church.

Children grow up in a submissive relationship. They are to give heed to their parents as they give them instruction for living and to avoid serious mistakes. They get much of their wisdom from the word of God, such as the Proverbs. “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother; for they will be graceful ornaments on your head, and chains about your neck” (1:8-9). The parents must warn their children, “My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent…” (1:10).

When young people resent the instruction of their parents, conflict is inevitable. Peer pressure, the desire to do what others are doing, the desire to be free from rules, etc., often makes the home a place of confusion and resentment. But as a person who understands that serious dangers await the naïve and rebellious teen, you can contribute toward a peaceful home.*

Recognize that you are young and that you have the immaturity of youth. Recognize that your parents love you and want you to have a bright future. Recognize that their rules have reason. Their restrictions keep you from getting into harm’s way: they don’t want you to die in a drunken wreck, they don’t want you to have children out of wedlock, they don’t want you to get hooked on drugs and alcohol, they want you to be educated and be prepared to be on your own in due time. But if none of these things make sense, we can always remember this and understand it: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph. 6:1).

*Footnote: If your home is not as happy and peaceful as it should be, I suggest that you print off this article and have a family discussion about how to achieve the kind of home God intended for us to have. Love, respect, and good communication with prayer can solve many of our modern problems.

You shall rise before the gray headed
and honor the presence of an old man,
and fear your God: I am the Lord.
- Leviticus 19:32

Because We Love You
Edited By Mike Willis